I find myself rooting for the LGBT community and hoping that section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (somewhere in Berkshire a Khan giggles at the P in the IPC as he tucks into his kebabs and Pepsi on the rocks) is repealed. I do not know any gay people and I like facial hair too much to make the switch myself. My only celebrity crush was gay. I discovered Westlife (they who regularly massacred cover songs and couldn’t hold a note live) in Class 8 and fancied the shamrock off Mark Feehily. Years later I discovered he was gay. He’s the reason I have trust issues. I cannot imagine what it must feel like to hide one’s true self from the world. To live in a society where is it criminal to be yourself when being yourself is beyond one’s control. I know of a bunch of people who think homosexuality is unnatural. And say it out loud. Hateful, homophobic comments are spewed out on social media because and I quote verbatim ‘if God wanted homosexuals to thrive he would’ve created Adam and Steve and not Adam and Eve’. I am not the biggest fan of the Old Testament and I think most of us can agree that maybe it isn’t 100% factually correct. If its contents are a possibility, I will be shopping for chastity belts for when my mother turns 90 because I will be close to retirement myself and I just cannot deal with a baby brother at that age (you know like Sarah and Isaac). I digress. The Government at the Centre has magnanimously left the decision to the Supreme Court. Now if only they showed such largesse when letting people decide what they’d like to eat and allowed the same court to do its job and make lynching on suspicion of possessing beef a crime, we’d be the country that the PM proclaims we are- democratic, secular, constitution uploading. Certain yoga gurus also claim to have the cure for homosexuality. Surprising why he hasn’t tested it on himself. OK maybe he isn’t gay. But he’s got to be at least bi. Because no straight man will ever be that flexible. The phobia surrounding homosexuality is the reason so many people get married hoping that marriage will miraculously set them straight. Pun intended. Take for instance Keith Vaz, the British Asian connoisseur of teenage Polish boys.
Being gay is not a choice. Being camp is. That’s the only bit I don’t get about the more flamboyant gays, the OTT flamboyance. Yes, you’re gay. We get it. You’re here and you’re queer. You finger snap, you twerk, you judge the fashion challenged and you’re just overall catty because it seems that is the only way to grab eye balls. This just defeats the whole movement to drive home the point that being gay is perfectly normal. Which it is. As normal as preferring coffee over tea or mint chocolate chip over butterscotch. It’s just that a natural preference. Who one chooses to fall in love with or do the unmentionable with is no one else’s business if said people are consenting adults. There cannot be a law to determine who I choose to spend my life with. Love in any form between 2 consenting adults should be celebrated. If there is no law to stop marriages like Priyanka Gandhi’s and Robert Vadra’s (who from the display of male cleavage plays for both sides) then there should be no law against homosexuality either.
PS: I get why men are gay, us women can be nightmares so I’m not surprised that they’ve found comfort with their own kind. But I cannot imagine lesbians living together peacefully. The hormone levels in that house must be off the charts and the PMS will probably result in Section 144 being regularly imposed.